Wine Country in Pictures

Day drunk in a beautiful place. Saw wine being made up close. Livin' the good life peeps.

Birthday Weekend in Pictures

A couple weeks late, but still so good y'all.

Quickie Update

I feel like I'm neglecting you, so I'll give ya a quick update.

1. I had a birthday last week. It was a major one. Guess which. It was good and it was bad. There were tears, laughter, friendship, sight seeing, food and drink, and all that good stuff involved. Will post pics eventually.

2. I'm moving to LA. Officially. In about 10 days. I have nothing but my menial job lined up. Looking to get my hustle on. Forreal. (If you know peeps in LA, help a friend out. The more contacts the better.)

3. After said major birthday, I'm reevaluating my life and hoping to gain the things I want in the near future. Been thinking a lot about that. I have a weird sense of entitlement and lofty goals and dreams.

4. I just finished Season 2 of "Girls" and Hannah is doing the most. I think I'm more into the boys of "Girls" than the girls of "Girls."

5. I'm nervous about my jump to LA. Very nervous. Pray for me.

6. I'm liking the Bay Area a lot more. It's very beautiful.

7. I think I'm going to retire from the bar scene. It stems from my inability to drink and drive. Not interested and not really interested in the people in bars, so I guess I shall try to be social elsewhere. Or I could continue to be antisocial, but let's be real, my name is Cynsetional for a reason.

That's it for now. Love ya!

Dating Coworkers

I don't date coworkers (anymore). I learned my lesson.

Last week, one of my coworkers asked me to go to the zoo. I heard zoo and I jumped on it. Animals, sunshine, a friend, why the hell not, right? WRONG. When he started acting weird and nervous and FORMAL about our plans, I realized, hey, maybe this isn't a friendly trip to the zoo, maybe it's a...date. I didn't realize this coworker, who is probably twenty years my senior and who I thought was a homosexual, was pursuing me. I was so hungry for friendship that I was blinded.

I slipped my way out of the zoo trip, which I'm still sad about because I like the zoo! But more than I like the zoo, I hate feeling tricked into going on dates with people I am not interested in at all. When I mentioned the situation to another female coworker, this is what she said, "He likes to date the granddaughters not the grandmothers." Eww, especially since he's a grandfather.

Also, she told me his last girlfriend was 21 and had down syndrome. Seriously. Good for her, but what does that say about me?

Neighbors

My upstairs neighbors like to have loud bed creaking sex. Just thought you should know because I don't know how to deal with it.

I do a lot of huffing and turning the music up and being annoyed slash angry because it interrupts my quiet tiime. WTF y'all.

Maybe I should leave them some nuts and bolts so they can reinforce their squeaky ass bed. Get a better mattress platform people, or put that shit on the ground like the rest of us poor people. I don't get it.

My Car

For those who haven't seen it on all my other social media platforms. 

What a cutie!

Laundry and Convo

After wearing my bathing suit as underwear, I realized it was time to do laundry. I think I've been waiting to get a car to do laundry ha. I'm going to make a bold statement here... I bought my car in order to do laundry. Hauling laundry around town without a car or a little wheelie basket thing is the most unappealing thing in THE WORLD.

So, I packed up my focus and headed to the laundromat. I've been doing my own laundry for years now. In high school my mom would always shrink my clothes so I took over my own laundry duties then. Anyways, I popped the clothes and the coins into their allotted positions and I sat down to read/text my lovelies back home.

Then Betty walks in with her grandson. Betty is a teacher and an outgoing and lovely woman. She was teaching her ten year old grandson how to do laundry so that he'd be prepared for college and the future. We struck up a conversation about life, love, marriage and goals. Betty is in the middle of a divorce and my parents are divorced, so the conversation got real. I told her about my LA dreams and she was totally onboard with it. She said to focus on those goals and that everything else would fall in place. She also said to make my future partner go through an extensive interview process haha. I love that idea.

I will say that I've met a lot of kind and open people during my time here in Oakland. Many interesting conversations and opinions, but always welcoming and supportive. This place isn't as tough and radical as everyone claims it is. Or maybe it is and I just haven't seen it yet.

I love when I get a chance to believe in humanity again.

Life Makeover

This is what I'm reading right now. Haha, I'm very serious about it because this move is all about me becoming the woman I want to be. I don't even care how cliche that sounds because sometimes you have to be a little cliche if it means being happy.

Also Number 14 makes me think this was written by someone super sensible. Ashiness kills.

I finally bought a car! After weeks of stressing out and being afraid to buy one on my own, I finally did it, without breaking the bank. I had the help of some awesome friends, thank goodness, but I found it, test drove it, bought it on my own. I've learned so much about cars in the past couple of weeks so if you have questions, holla at me.

I've been cruising around town, feeling young, free and independent. My world has literally opened up. This car will do wonders for my explorations and therefore these blog posts.

Otherwise, I've been working, working, working. I used to love love love grocery shopping. Taking my time, walking the aisles, deciding what my taste buds wanted or following a strict list. The whole process always been a peaceful experience for me. Especially late at night, when it's quiet and it's just you and the groceries. That's all different now. I shop in the ten minutes I have after work. I'm apart of the invisible army that provides your life necessities. It's tough, but I people watch like a mother fucker. Young couples, babies, old people, white people, black people, poor people, rich people, every kind of person grocery shops. Maybe this will help with my character writing. I do look forward to the time when I can enjoy grocery shopping again. Hopefully in the near future!

Birthdays Are For Suckers

Guys, I've been avoiding you because I've been miserable. I haven't been exploring or adventuring for the past week plus some. I've been ignored by my one friend from home, who is going through things or some shit, I've been avoiding making new friends and I've been stressing about buying a car to run away from here.

All of this angst, confusion and pressure comes from the fact that I'm turning 25 in a couple of weeks. I don't want to spend my 25th in a place of misery. Oakland hasn't been all misery, it's a nice place, but I have experienced some extreme emotions here. I'm used to not feeling! Now I have to many feelings! I'm a changed woman. I don't know if it's for the better ha.

But, things are not going as planned and running away before my birthday is looking more and more improbable. I have to suck this shit up and try to make the best of this Oakland adventure for the next couple of weeks.

I have a huge problem with being impatient and over planning, so when things don't go my way, it hits me hard. Today, I think I've decided to take a major chill pill. Slow down this car obsession thing, make some new friends (I've been fighting it, but come on, people want to be my friend) and get out into the world again.

Just know I wasn't neglecting you, I was straight up avoiding you.

Guys, I'm trying to buy a car. I'm going crazy. That is all

A Weekend in SF

Have I done a week 3 recap?

Well, week 3 has come and gone. I'm trying to have some sort of routine that will allow for writing, but of course that isn't happening.

I watched and read a lot of Game of Thrones. Book and Season 3. I had to wait to finish reading before I watched the show, but y'all after I read a certain scene/death or two I couldn't wait any longer. No spoilers, since other humans have been good enough not to spoil it for me. All I'll say is that it was worth the wait and read/watch.

I got my HBO shows out of my system, all caught up on True Blood too. I will say that I've had my fill of butts. So many butts on HBO. I guess because they can't show vaginas and penises. Man butts, woman butts, jiggly butts, small butts, but mainly tight butts.

Back to my Bay Area adventures. I spent some time in San Francisco on Saturday. In the Mission District to be exact. Wandering around in the cold looking for an art crawl I had found online. My friend and I finally stumbled upon one of the houses on the crawl and boy was it a magical experience. We walked into a place that was called "The Secret Garden." There were pretty lights and plants and that was it's actual name.

There was a stage set up in the garden, so we grabbed some seats on the makeshift benches and listened to this lady sing folk songs in different languages. Spanish, Russian and French. I barely have a grasp of the English language, so I was definitely envious. I'm not a huge fan of acoustic folky music, but it was all especially magical in the garden with the sun going down and the wind blowing. Then the singer and her friends began to harmonize and I think I can speak for all of America when I say, I'm a sucker for harmonization. I don't care what corny boy or girl group you are, if you can harmonize I'll be your fan for a day.

The harmonizations were beautiful and almost other worldy. I forgot all my worries and melted away onto the notes of the lady voices. It was like that. Definitely a lovely cap to a lackluster week.

I'm going to listen to some more Miley Cyrus now, while I job hunt and dream of my future.

Who's A Winner At The Crying Game? ... Cynthia is!

I've been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Everything was a tearjerker for me this weekend. I've never been the type to not have my feelings in check, but I literally had no idea when and if I was going to cry. That is a strange feeling.

I did a lot of crying in public. In bathrooms. In my room. In my friend's room and I think that's about it. But I had no tears today guys, so I'm obviously back to normal. I think the magnitude of my situation all hit me at once. In front of everyone at work. That was embarrassing.

I've moved across the country. My only friend has her own life going on. I have no friends ha and I can only talk to my family at random intervals during the daylight hours because of the time difference. I've just been lonely and overwhelmed. Being at a job that I'm not happy with doesn't help.

I don't want to sound like an entitled bitch, but I'm about to. I'm a college graduate. I'm working with high schoolers. Getting paid the same as high schoolers. That does a lot to your ego slash self worth. So finding a new job is a major to do for me BUT I know what kind of job I want and that job is in LA, so I'll have to settle for something boring. Ugh. If you know a super cool company in the Bay Area that's hiring, holla at your girl.

Besides crying all weekend, I walked around town a lot, found a couple of cool bars that I hope to become a regular at and I decided that I'm going to politely stalk the local independent filmmakers in this town.

Also I got this in a fortune cookie, so I must be headed in the right direction.

Reach For Gold!

I met this gentleman at the bus stop who told me to plan and follow my dreams. So, I will!

He gave me a bunch of advice (people in Oakland are so cool and open without seeking anything in return, at least that's how it seems to a big eyed Easterner like myself) and he left me with this quote...

"He who fails to plan is planning to fail." We can thank good ole Winston Churchill for that one. I'm gonna listen to my bus stop guardian angel and Churchill, slow my role and really get my shit together, itemized and all that good stuff. Get my focus and passion and drive back. Gonna do some short and long term goal writing tonight.

Hear my roar!

Week Two Recap

The past few days have melted into one huge swirl of not having to be at work slash not having new friends slash internet networking slash reading Game of Thrones slash watching Netflix slash strolling around town slash avoiding writing. Why avoiding? Because that's what I do best!

I either need real structure in my life or I need to know that I'm on an endless vacation that is fully covered financially. I don't know how to act otherwise!

Pics of when I was around town. I'll spare you the pics of my extreme boredom :)

Taco trucks are a blessing from God. Thank you, God. 

I saw Fruitvale Station, a film based on a true Oakland story at the local theater. Awesome theater, awesome story, so many people crying in the audience. Myself included. It was crazy leaving the theater and walking by some of the places spotlighted in the film. 

Selfie, strolling around town. Awesome sunglasses were a gift from Brittany, been wearing them everyday to protect my delicate eyes from this strong California sun.

I also broke my crying seal this week, as predicted. It was much needed and came and went very quickly. Moving on y'all! 

Monterey, CA

What a weekend! I didn't have to slave away at work, so I decided to hop on a Greyhound bus and head a couple hours south to Monterey, CA to visit one of my dearest friends, Alexis. The Greyhound bus was an experience in and of itself, which definitely made me realize I NEED A CAR. But that battle will be fought another day.

My friend Alexis is the best for many reasons. We haven't seen each other in years, but she's still super smart, super athletic and the best person to go on dates with. I swear we had the most romantic weekend of all time. I'm exaggerating, but it was pretty damn good. Alexis and I would make the best girlfriends, take notes guys. We're also going to do The Amazing Race together some day, take notes Amazing Race slash email me at cadarkwa@gmail.com if you'd like to book us today.

Alexis and I go to the cutest Italian cafes and have the cutest convos about our futures and love and life and careers and travel. Look at her little cup and my big cup. Cute!

Then we eat a lot at said cafes.

We sight see at beautiful places like Big Sur, even when it's foggy. Alexis told me not to google Big Sur because I'd see the craziest most beautiful sunny place in the world. She was right. Don't google it or return in real life when it's sunny. Putting that on my to do list. This is also a place that lent many writers like Jack Kerouac inspiration. Give me inspirational love, Big Sur!

We take long scenic drives while listening to Maroon 5, Passion Pit, Lauryn Hill and Adele. We also visit towns called Carmel-By-The-Sea. That's a real place and a real name. What? Awesome.

And we travel the world with our mouths. From Italy to France to Japan to Mexico, only because we can't take our physical bodies to those beautiful countries at the moment.

In conclusion, I wish I could be on vacation forever. Eating, walking, talking, looking, breathing and enjoying my life. Back in Oakland now, more determined than ever to be rich so I can live that vacation life in my near future. Ya feel me?

Thoughtful Bike Rides

I've had a very thoughtful day. Finished packing, stepped my resume and cover letter game up, then I met up with a friend from Savannah. He let me borrow a bike so we biked around town, the weather was perfecto, the streets were clear and my legs pumped very slowly. I'm giving myself a month to have the leg power to ride up the steep hill to my new place. I had to walk half of it today. It was a sad sight.

Anyways, we rode around downtown Oakland and into the Temescal area of Oakland, which is very hip. I hate using the term "hip" but sometimes there's no other way to describe a vibe or place.

During my lovely bike tour, the discussion turned to future goals and the necessary steps needed to reach those goals. My next step is definitely to find a new job, whether that job is here in the Bay Area or in LA is to be determined.

My current job isn't terrible. It gave me the opportunity to transition to Oakland with some security but it definitely isn't where I want to be for the long run. I'm going to make seeking other jobs a priority in the next few weeks. I want to spend my day in an environment where I can use my brain again, solve problems, read and write. Can I get paid for that? Will you pay me for that? Do dreams come true?

What I'm Doing Today

I'm unpacking today and when I say the place I'm living in is a California dream, I mean it. But, I'm such a 21st Century girl that I'm about to YouTube how to use these hangers. They were a contraption created to confuse and confuddle me. 

I won't even tell you about the battle I had with an old school corkscrew the other night. We'll just say the corkscrew won. 

Update: I think I'm just slow and using the hanger is very straightforward, I was simply intimidated by the old time design of it. Hanger 1, Cynthia 0.

My Poll -------->

Don't forget to take part in the poll! My first week in the Bay Area has been a shower of hate on SoCal so I'm interested in your opinions on the debate.

View From My Street

This hill kills me everyday. My thighs will love it later right?

MD to CA: Week One

It's been a crazy week y'all. I arrived, I conquered and I'm still here.

San Francisco is as chilly as everyone says, so make sure to step your sweater game up if you plan to visit. I did not heed the warnings. I haven't been freezing but I'm the type that would rather sweat than shiver. Is everyone else like that? I take a sweater with me as often as possible, during summer in swampy D.C., so I won't lie, I was suffering in silence when I first landed in windy San Francisco.

Since then, I've adjusted to the weather, among other things. I found a great place to live in Oakland and in a record three days. I guess I was supposed to be suffering and struggling upon arrival but it's been a calm transition thus far. I definitely feel like I've been making the right decisions, but it can be very overwhelming at times. I think I'll cry week two or three, I'm going to try to hold out until four. I'll keep you updated.

My number one enemy at the moment: California hills. My legs have been worked out more in the past week than in the whole ten months I spent in suburban Maryland. It didn't help that those were probably the laziest ten months of my life, but damn, I wish I had been better prepared physically to be a Californian. Everyone runs and is super fit here, so I hope walking these hills will get me on that status. Main goal: to wear a crop top. When do I plan on doing that? I have no idea.

Anyways, welcome to the blog. I'll be posting as often and randomly as possible with updates on life, my stern East Coast opinion on these Westerners and my plans on world domination via writing, smiling, laughing and charming the silly people I meet. I just want to be rich some day without having to sell my body. Love ya if I know ya and love ya if I don't.