Who's A Winner At The Crying Game? ... Cynthia is!

I've been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Everything was a tearjerker for me this weekend. I've never been the type to not have my feelings in check, but I literally had no idea when and if I was going to cry. That is a strange feeling.

I did a lot of crying in public. In bathrooms. In my room. In my friend's room and I think that's about it. But I had no tears today guys, so I'm obviously back to normal. I think the magnitude of my situation all hit me at once. In front of everyone at work. That was embarrassing.

I've moved across the country. My only friend has her own life going on. I have no friends ha and I can only talk to my family at random intervals during the daylight hours because of the time difference. I've just been lonely and overwhelmed. Being at a job that I'm not happy with doesn't help.

I don't want to sound like an entitled bitch, but I'm about to. I'm a college graduate. I'm working with high schoolers. Getting paid the same as high schoolers. That does a lot to your ego slash self worth. So finding a new job is a major to do for me BUT I know what kind of job I want and that job is in LA, so I'll have to settle for something boring. Ugh. If you know a super cool company in the Bay Area that's hiring, holla at your girl.

Besides crying all weekend, I walked around town a lot, found a couple of cool bars that I hope to become a regular at and I decided that I'm going to politely stalk the local independent filmmakers in this town.

Also I got this in a fortune cookie, so I must be headed in the right direction.

Thoughtful Bike Rides

I've had a very thoughtful day. Finished packing, stepped my resume and cover letter game up, then I met up with a friend from Savannah. He let me borrow a bike so we biked around town, the weather was perfecto, the streets were clear and my legs pumped very slowly. I'm giving myself a month to have the leg power to ride up the steep hill to my new place. I had to walk half of it today. It was a sad sight.

Anyways, we rode around downtown Oakland and into the Temescal area of Oakland, which is very hip. I hate using the term "hip" but sometimes there's no other way to describe a vibe or place.

During my lovely bike tour, the discussion turned to future goals and the necessary steps needed to reach those goals. My next step is definitely to find a new job, whether that job is here in the Bay Area or in LA is to be determined.

My current job isn't terrible. It gave me the opportunity to transition to Oakland with some security but it definitely isn't where I want to be for the long run. I'm going to make seeking other jobs a priority in the next few weeks. I want to spend my day in an environment where I can use my brain again, solve problems, read and write. Can I get paid for that? Will you pay me for that? Do dreams come true?