Guys, I've been avoiding you because I've been miserable. I haven't been exploring or adventuring for the past week plus some. I've been ignored by my one friend from home, who is going through things or some shit, I've been avoiding making new friends and I've been stressing about buying a car to run away from here.
All of this angst, confusion and pressure comes from the fact that I'm turning 25 in a couple of weeks. I don't want to spend my 25th in a place of misery. Oakland hasn't been all misery, it's a nice place, but I have experienced some extreme emotions here. I'm used to not feeling! Now I have to many feelings! I'm a changed woman. I don't know if it's for the better ha.
But, things are not going as planned and running away before my birthday is looking more and more improbable. I have to suck this shit up and try to make the best of this Oakland adventure for the next couple of weeks.
I have a huge problem with being impatient and over planning, so when things don't go my way, it hits me hard. Today, I think I've decided to take a major chill pill. Slow down this car obsession thing, make some new friends (I've been fighting it, but come on, people want to be my friend) and get out into the world again.
Just know I wasn't neglecting you, I was straight up avoiding you.
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